Ok well I dont want to give my whole background because it's boring and I cant be bothered to write about it in all honesty...So I shall briefly update you so you know what I'm going on about....
Ok Im 26, I have an eating disorder. I have been regurgitating my food for a while now but weirdly I didnt see it as a problem, heres the weird thing, All people with an eating disorder are really skinny right? WRONG. I am not skinny, If anything I am slightly overweight, VOMMITING YOUR FOOD DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT!!! But this is my battle, In this day and age it's ok to be on a diet, its ok to exercise EVERY night, So because I'm not 4 stone I slip through the net, I can eat one cracker a day and its ok cuz I am a few lbs overweight. Anyway basically I am in a cycle.
I diet. I eat. I binge. I purge. I fail. I diet. I eat. I binge. I purge. I fail. I diet. I eat.....
That's my life. I am stuck in this mental hell. It consumes my every thought. Everything I do revolves around my weight, what I look like, how other people percieve me. In fact I justify my thoughts and how I should be by what other people think.
So I wanted to just write down how I feel, you could call it a diary but I think it's more of a 'vent'. because Its really, really, really hard to talk about this to other people, and even harder for them to understand.
XXX
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